Why hes dating her instead of you
” Imagine you’re a lion on the African savanna, stalking a gazelle. Then, suddenly, the gazelle sees you from the corner of its eye, turns around, and starts galloping towards you at full speed. This is not how things are supposed to go — I’m supposed to be the one chasing! Much simpler to deal with the script he’s familiar and prepared to deal with: Lion chase. This one has happened to me a lot, and it operates at such a primal, unconscious level that even I myself marvel at the speed and vehemence with which I lose interest when she starts chasing me more than I’m chasing her.You’re thinking, “Aw man, this is going to be great. There was the girl who invited me to her senior year final dance in college who was all over me much more than I was all over her.The fact that she worried, didn’t want to bother him and was afraid to contact him may be a sign to take a hard look at this partnership.
Heck, I’m probably losing interest in someone right now, completely unbeknownst to myself but setting the mind of the poor lass on fire, and not necessarily in a good way.For example, seeing a lot of each other generally strengthens the bond. Kissing and sex create bonding, since you’re producing bonding chemicals like oxytocin, which is why they’re called bonding chemicals. If the net forces bonding a couple are greater than those separating them, they tend to stay together. Two strangers are gambling on each other, hoping something may come of it. I’m sorry, what do you mean you don’t like the Grateful Dead, or hip-hop, or sushi, or my sportsball team, or coffee, or tattoos? And with the length of courtship going from months (see: Emma by Jane Austen), to days (see: 20 their due is only getting worse. As a result, the stress levels of your paramour go through the roof, and your budding romance goes from Priority #1 to #73, right between “start watercolor lessons” and “re-string ukelele.” Here, let me share a story with you: some time ago, over the course of one week I had two first dates that I thought went reasonably well, concluding in semi-torrid makeout sessions.In the meantime, an endless panoply of potentially better choices are just a swipe, click or happy hour mixer away. If you think this is lame and stupid, I wholeheartedly agree. In my naïveté, I even considered one of the ladies to be marriage material. ANTIDOTE: This is not the kind of thing you can prevent or control. The key take-away from this is that you should not take such vanishings personally.If the other person can’t handle it, then it’s better to know sooner than later.“Why is it that a guy fiercely pursues a woman at first, and then when he finds out she is actually interested he is not so sure if he is interested anymore? For background, I’m 29, live in Australia, and I’ve been on 5 dates with this guy so far but we haven’t kissed yet.” — Sheila Well well.