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It’s not like I didn’t know that this would happen at some point. So, when the time comes, here are some tips to help you have this important conversation with our son.
But you know, I was thinking later, like much later. But there was more to my momentary shock than just the idea of him dating. A lot of what makes dating “healthy” is the same stuff that makes all social interactions work.
– it can also help you align your financial values and expectations for the future.
I know the idea of baring your full financial picture can feel totally overwhelming, and maybe even a little embarrassing.
You might think your finances aren’t any of your partner’s business.
But the reality is, when you enter into a long-term commitment with someone, you’re also tying that person into your financial life, even if just in part – so it’s important to put it all out on the table.
But then one day, he caught me off guard when he said, “Well, of course, when I get a girlfriend.……”I seriously have no idea what he said after the word girlfriend. Luckily after the first week, the hype died down and I felt quite a bit better when he told me that he and several of his friends had decided they weren’t going to have girlfriends this first year. It can be confusing and we want our boys to know how to treat a girl, but we also want to make sure he is treated well too and that his heart is protected.Use this process as a launch pad to initiate important discussions around your finances.For example, if your partner has debt, are you willing to take it on and vice versa? If you have vastly different incomes, how will you share money and expenses as your relationship progresses (even if you’re not sharing costs right now)?But is it really any more awkward than getting naked in front of each other for the first time? You can naturally shift these conversations from aspirational dream-discussions to tactical how-to talks.For example, a conversation about a future dream home while watching an episode of Fixer Upper on HGTV can shift into a practical dialogue about projected timelines and savings for a down payment.