Dating and commitment

Sadly, statistics and anecdotal experience both indicate that even the couples who spend time in dating relationships of any length, sin physically.

The longer the relationship, the higher the percentage.

In the meantime, the “we’re already committed” rationalization tends to make couples feel free to act in all sorts of ways they didn’t before, and every argument I’ve made in this series applies ), but that doesn’t mean that anyone who uses that language is automatically correct. Scott now lives in the Louisville, Ky., area with his wife, Rachel, and son, William, where he works as an attorney and serves as an elder of Third Avenue Baptist Church.

As a quick theological aside on guidance, God does not primarily lead His people by mystic feelings in the pits of our stomachs about what He wants us to do.

I’ve arrived at this conclusion by thinking through a number of biblical principles.

One of our bedrock governing principles in biblical dating — and in how we treat our brothers and sisters in Christ generally — is not to “defraud” our single brothers and sisters by implying a greater level of commitment between us and them than actually exists (see 1 Thessalonians 4:6).

As to emotional intimacy, we live in the age of email, free long distance and unlimited any-time minutes, and cheap flights.

It’s still really easy to “act married” emotionally, even in a long-distance relationship.

We might even say that getting to know one another better and more deeply is (up to a certain limited point, of course) the very of a dating relationship.When two people are dating — especially when it’s going well and two people are really into one another — the desire to spend more and more time together, to know each other better and better, to confide in each other more and more often and exclusively, is overwhelming.As your general comfort level around each other rises, that momentum grows even more. We’ll assume, per another clear principle from Scripture, that both members of our college couple are Christians.I discuss this principle more fully in “Principles for Drawing Boundaries” and “What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?” As a quick refresher, we can “defraud” our brother or sister in a dating context by showing or encouraging a level of intimacy — either emotionally or physically — that the Bible seems to reserve for marriage and marriage only.

Leave a Reply